(still) nursing

Friday, November 30, 2012

I went into the hospital with the thought that if breastfeeding works, great.  If not, no big deal...formula it is.  Then just a few minutes after his birth he latched right on (just as I was about to pass out and threw up from the massive blood loss.)  But regardless, a few minutes later little baby was suckling away!

It felt natural.  There were no sore nipples or refusal to latch or bleeding or any other terrible thing you read about!  So then I gave myself the goal to breastfeed for 6 months.

In the beginning, nothing was easy.  And the massive amount of time you give to nursing a newborn is tiring.  I remember at 1 month saying that I was 1/6 of the way there.  But then once the reflux was fixed and he stopped screaming all the time, nursing just became part of our day and not a big deal at all.  Actually it's even easier, you never need to remember bottles or ice packs or formula and water...lunch is always ready!

And the time together is actually kind of irreplaceable.  You really bond with your baby and get to know his little personality.  In the beginning nursing was my only quiet time when he wasn't crying, so that was when I would talk on the phone or watch hgtv (house hunters was a fave in the middle of the night and Hoda and Kathie Lee replayed at 2am, another goodie!)

But as he became more aware of his surroundings, he got distracted. So now we sit quietly and I check e-mail and facebook and instagram on my iphone while he drinks and looks around and moves his arms constantly up and down my chest and arm and face, stopping to grab at my shirt or pull on my necklace or hair.  His little arms are my favorite.

And his hands....he's into squeezing them as he drinks too.  Or wrapping his fingers around mine.

Nursing time is a time for just the two of us.  It's never fast.  He takes his time.  I've thought many times how lucky I am that I have this time to give to him and that I don't have to rush him.  This is what maternity leave is for right?   He often takes little breaks to play with my hand and put his palm up to mine.  Or dramatically turn his head the other way and stare at the other side of the room before resuming his meal.  Then there's the enormous smile when I hold him up at the end.

Somehow these wonderful moments outweigh the fact that I can't be away from him for more than 3 hours and that he won't take a bottle and I have to be there to put him to bed every night.  Are there times I wish I had that freedom?  Absolutely.  Will I do things a little differently next time?  Definitely.  But these times won't last forever.  And I will drink them up while I still can.






1 comment:

  1. Go Sis for making it to 6 months!

    Hoda & Kathie Lee are on at 2am, who knew?

    ReplyDelete

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