Restoring my sanity

Monday, July 1, 2013

It's no secret that the last few weeks have been painful trying for me.  Again it all comes down to sleep.  And when he doesn't nap or only takes a short nap, that makes for a very exhausting day.  Christian also just started a new job so now he leaves an hour earlier and gets home an hour later.

The worst part about these new hours are that the gym routine that I just started a few weeks ago (and I loved and felt so much better from having alone time) is gone.

Last Thursday was my birthday and my mother-in-law came to play with Carter while I got my nails done.  While I was there I realized that the last time I was away from Carter was the previous Tuesday, 9 days before.

No wonder I was falling apart at the seams.

My nails were done so quickly and I wasn't ready to go home, so I stopped at Barnes and Noble and got a Frappuccino (caramel ribbon- way too sweet, and if you know me, that's like ridiculously sweet) and I sat in a corner reading Bloom.  It was freezing in there.  And I sat there alone, shivering with goose bumps, reading about another mom's story and struggles.  And that was the best part of my day.

That night at dinner (of Five Guys cheeseburgers and fries after bedtime) I told Christian about my nail appointment and how I didn't want to go right home so I stopped at B & N.  He said to me, "Why didn't you want to go home?"  And THAT is when it was all unleashed.

Somewhere, somehow while trying to survive meet the needs of my high-need baby/toddler I got lost, again.

So on Saturday I went to the gym and got a facial.  Then Carter and I hung out with my bff at the pool and I felt so much better.

Then Sunday came and we got in the usual routine and alot of the normal hanging on momma.  But around 4:25 I had a headache and I needed a break.

And for the first time ever I said, "Christian can I have until 5 to myself?"  And I closed the bedroom door and I sat on our bed and read.  Then I showered in the quiet calm of my bathroom, without anyone screaming and banging on the shower door or worrying that anyone was sticking his hands in the toilet or picking through the trashcan.

And when they came through the door 45 minutes later, I was refreshed and renewed and so happy to have my boy sprint into my arms.

The weekend was topped off with dinner with two good friends and a raspberry martini and lots of girly talk and catching up!  It was the perfect end to the weekend.


  1. I just found your blog and I want you to know that so many moms feel just the way you do. It's totally normal, but that doesn't make it any easier.

    Do you stay at home? It can be pretty lonely, and sometimes all you need is a break or a break in the routine to make it feel better.

    That's why I love blogging--we can connect with other moms and share the experience... Or sometimes just forget about it all and blog about cute dresses or pedicures.

    Anyway, glad I found your blog!

    1. Hi Colleen! Thanks for your comment! I know most moms feel the same. i am a SAHM but am going back to work in August. So that will be a huge change, for sure! I've really loved reading other mom blogs too! I'm going to check yours out now!!!


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